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Poor show January 6, 2008

Posted by BiB in Uncategorized.

Quiz! No prize. Bar the glory, as ever.

So where’s
dolly.jpgthis lovely lady – oh, no, sorry, I didn’t mean that one. Slip of the upload. Though I was in beautiful Edinburgh for a few seconds, actually, over the Chrimble period, and didn’t get to see my favourite dead clone –
pc300165.jpgI meant, this lovely lady, to be found, then?

Sorry it’s such a shit photo. It’s a shit quiz, actually, as quizzes go, because I don’t quite know the answer myself, and I’ve been reading Dawkins so know of the importance of mathematic formulae and know that you can’t have an equation, if a shit quiz is an equation, with two unknown bits. But I sort of know the answer, a bit. So where’s the lady?

The photo’s shit for a number of reasons. If I can do the blaming-others part first, let me say the version on my computer isn’t nearly as dark as what wordpress is coming up with. I don’t know if what I did to the original photo, which I cleverly managed to get to the computer from my camera, can be called as much as photoshopping, but I did adjust the brightness and contrast on the as-dark-as-what-you-see-now original and then equally cleverly press save, but wordpress seems to have overridden my efforts. Hopefully you all have a torch next to your computers for just such moments and you might be able to see her with a bit of a flash in her general direction.

The blaming-me part of explaining away the photo’s shitness is that I can’t take photos, due to an unsteady hand brought on by years of drink, drugs, debt and relationships, plus the camera’s crap, because it’s cheap, which is why I bought it, and I didn’t realise it had an image-steadier-for-alcoholics button until too late. And then the lady is in a bit of a dark place. So that’s a bit why you’ve got too much dado-like-thing and not enough headdress.

So where is she?

(By the way, not ‘Who is she?’, because I haven’t got the foggiest.)


1. IsarSteve - January 6, 2008

I have to confess.. In the 1980s, I thought “clones” were quite…. well…. horny!!

Seriously though, the lady looks familiar.. is it per chance,

Queen Eleanor of Aquitane??
of Charing Cross fame??

2. annie - January 6, 2008

Um. She’s on the ceiling? Is it in a church?

PS if it’s not rude to ask – why is your avatar a sheep? I forgot to ask you the significance when we met.

3. d.z. bodenberg - January 7, 2008

I’ve never met anyone from County Monaghan.

4. MountPenguin - January 7, 2008

No idea who it is, but weird: the image looks much better on my Mac than it does on my PC.

5. Mr D - January 7, 2008

Macs show pictures lighter, don’t they? Or PCs make them look darker. Photos on my blog look crap on my work PC.

Was this photo taken in Edinburgh? Is that the answer to where it was taken, BiB? Do I get a prize?

6. Mangonel - January 7, 2008

Hang on a mo’ – you took the soddin’ picture, so how come you don’t know where she is? What am I missing? It’s late, I’m tired, oh bugger.

7. marshaklein - January 7, 2008

Ooh, photos of architectural details. I LOVE them! No idea where you’d find this lovely lady, though. IsarSteve’s theory sounds plausible. Mind you so does Annie’s…

What did you see in Edinburgh, if you didn’t see Dolly?

8. wyndham - January 7, 2008

Don’t know who the lady is but she’s pursing her lips in exasperation so we must have gone out for a period of months. That pinched, disapproving face definitely looks familiar.

9. Valerie in San Diego - January 7, 2008

So, from a tomb in France?

I suppose it’s not an early Marianne image :-)

I just tried to use Google to find it, and instead got pictures of a couple of very hot lesbians kissing.

10. Mr D - January 7, 2008

Oh sorry – of course the Edinburgh thing was Dolly. Excuse me. So no prize, then?

I think she was carved on your bed when you were on holiday in France. Inspired by Valerie in San Diego. (My guess, I mean, and not the woman in the picture.)

11. Valerie in San Diego - January 7, 2008

hey, who knows. I *might* have inspired the woman in the picture.

Probably not, though. My mouth is generally open — talking away.

12. Mr D - January 8, 2008


13. pleite - January 8, 2008

Mr D, the lovely young lady is not to be found in Edinburgh, unlike dear old Dolly. Nor was she to be found carved on my bed in France.

Valerie, nor from a tomb in France, though tomb is good. But do you mean there’s a way of sticking an image in a google search, or you mean you google-imaged Marianne? I just did that too and it was wall-to-wall filth.

Wynders, I refuse to believe that you and this lady can ever have been contemporaries. I’ve actually done a bit of research myself, to make the quiz a bit less shit, and she has, allegedly, been around since the 17th century, whereas you are barely a day over 39.

Marsha, I may be preaching to the converted here, but, my god, isn’t Edinburgh drop-your-knickers gorgeous? So stunningly wonderfully gorgeous. Even on a miserable winter’s day with almost no daylight at all. We only had a couple of hours so trolled up and down the Royal Mile. To the castle. Darted down some of those lovely little alleyways. Dashed to the Parliament. Fought for hours to get out of that fucking labyrinthine tartan factory an inch from the castle. Princes St. a bit. The streets on the other side of the castle from Princes St. Had dinner and dashed back onto the train. Loved it.

Mango, I know just about where I took it, but have had to ‘research’ (in the loosest sense of the word) what the place is properly called. Actually, within the ‘venue’ itself, I can’t exactly remember where she was, but my agonising research seems to have come up trumps.

Penguin, the odd thing is the image has got lighter now, as my eyes see it, so wordpress was just teasing me, seeing if they could exhaust my patience. They failed.

DZ, you win a prize for most obtuse comment. What do you mean? County Monaghan? Oddly, I HAVE met someone from County Monaghan. He told me he’d had a near-death experience. Then he went back to painting my mum’s hall.

Annie, my avatar isn’t just any old sheep. It’s Dolly the sheep. I think it was a panic avatar at first because I actually used to have a photo of me up there before. Imagine! Don’t know what the fuck I was thinking. But I replaced that with Dolly, and now I’ve analysed my choice (at great expense and over a number of sessions) and decided I chose Dolly because I am a clone-blogger. Just another blogger. Like all the other bloggers. Mind you, I’m not also my mother… And, yes, a church, but not the ceiling…

Isar, oh wank, I really should research these quizzes better, shouldn’t I, before I start them? Because I can’t say who she is. But is that the Queen of Chère-Reine-fame, then, Queen Eleanor of Aquitaine? Mind you, I don’t think this lady can have been her, because she’s just a decoration, and wouldn’t a queen deserve more? (And I saw some real old-style clones in Brompton’s in Earl’s Court last week!)

…so. It’s her, from a tomb at my new favourite place, this church. So wonderfully gorgeous. And in such a wonderful location. Another reason to adore London. But, fuck, haven’t the lawyers gone and secured themselves half of London’s most desired territory? Cheeky buggers.

14. IsarSteve - January 8, 2008

Wow.. Charing Cross wasn’t far out was it?
In fact, Just around the corner from Temple Church..

But it’s not you who should reasearch more.. I should.. because you see I got my knickers in a twist too..
The Eleanor of Charing Cross fame was actually Eleanor Of CASTILLE

Eleanor of Acquitane was actually some other arranged marriage somewhere down the line, but “Eleanor” and “Acquitane” do seem to slip off the tongue very easily; like Laurel & Hardy or Bubble & Squeak. That’s how I made the mistake. Sorry!

15. annie - January 8, 2008

Aha! I’ve been to that church, with Em who you met, who likes to go on visits like a tourist in London now she’s an ex-pat. Temple is amazing isn’t it? It’s incredible that it’s tucked away there right in the middle of London, so quiet… I didn’t even know it was there before we visited. And that church is just beautiful.

16. d.z. bodenberg - January 8, 2008

Clone’s a place in County Monaghan. I dunno if they all (the Clones) look like Freddie Mercury though. It would surprise me, but you never know. There must be a geneology website somewhere which has the details on Queen’s family trees, but I doubt whether Rock Family Trees (assuming it’s on the web) goes into that much detail.

17. pleite - January 8, 2008

DZ, rock, as in rock music, or is Clone on the coast, like Brighton? No, it can’t be, as I think Monaghan is landlocked. Freddie must have a fairly interesting family tree. Zanzibar and all that. Can’t remember if he’s ethnically Arab or Indian, or a mixture, or neither. My niece went to Zanzibar and said it’s EVEN nicer than a good many other places, like London and County Monaghan.

Annie, isn’t it marvellous? And that whole area is wonderful. I’ve skirted it before, where it runs along the Thames, and just thought, “Oh, that’s pretty,” and had warm memories of Great Expectations. And we almost missed it, as when we were there, all entrances to that area were closed, bar one, and it was a fiddly round-the-side one. And we got out onto Fleet Street through a wooden door that some lawyer happened to be coming through from Fleet Street. He had a key! To half (very approximately) of London! Appropriately, re. Em, I haven’t oohed and aahed with enthusiasm as much about a place as I did with the Temple Church since I was in Barcelona in some year or other. Properly, beautifully, mind-blowingly wonderful.

Isar, I’m hopeless with my kings and queens, which is a Schande, and at least your Eleanors are quite close to each other calendrically. And one of your wiki references says my Chère-Reine bollocks may indeed be bollocks, and that the etymology is something else altogether. Still, while we’re on urban myths and dodgy etymology, is it true that Elephant and Castle is named in honour of Eleanor of Castille?

18. marshaklein - January 9, 2008

Perhaps your there’s another reason for your choice of avatar? Temple Church and Rosslyn Chapel both have a Knights Templar connection and Dolly was conceived (in both senses!) at the Roslin Institute. Perhaps I spend too much time looking at “What connects…?”-type quizzes?

Such a shame you missed Dolly. Especially as I think you were only yards from her front door. If you were in the area on the other side of the castle from Princes Street, you must have been near/in Chambers Street, which houses the National Museum of Scotland where Dolly is kept these days. Delighted that you enjoyed Edinburgh, though.

19. pleite - January 9, 2008

Marsha, oh wank, I really should have planned the Edinburgh excursion a tad, but, again, it was only for ten seconds, and it was dark when we arrived and it’d be bad form to enter a museum when it was already dark, and, thankfully, I don’t remember passing the National Museum of Scotland as now I’d be hitting myself with frustration if I’d remembered I had, knowing (now) that Dolly was so tantalisingly close. But what if I’d dived into her enclosure (or whatever she’s kept in) with her? It might have been love at first real sight.

I still don’t feel I’ve been to Scotland at all.

20. Arabella - January 9, 2008

What a lovely place. I like the ear-biting gargoyle. You’ve inspired me to pick up a book I’ve been neglecting: ‘How To Read A Church’.

Dolly manages to look attractive and intelligent: not bad for a sheep. I think it’s all in the tilt of the head.

21. narrowback - January 9, 2008

Monaghan is landlocked

Don’t recall that the men all looked like freddy mercury clones tho’ – dark haired and tall but not doppelgangers

22. MountPenguin - January 10, 2008

The image is back to its dark version again…

23. pleite - January 10, 2008

Penguin, she’s a temperamental old thing, isn’t she? She was dark for me yesterday but is currently as bright as a button.

Narrowback, bar the two clones I saw not long ago, I think it is a dying breed. No respect for tradition, these queens.

Arabella, I agree. That clone could tilt. By the way, the church has a site and a virtual tour, though I’d prefer photos, but, there we are, it’s 2008. The site’s map shows its apparently easy-to-get-to location, but it’s hidden away. It’s really wonderfully lovely. Pen it in for your next trip.

24. Marsha Klein - January 12, 2008

Hello BiB! This is actualy Marsha’s no.1 daughter Daisy. Oooooh this is my first ever blog comment :O Currently no.2 daughter amber is snoring away on the sofa and I am writing this with the laptop balanced rather precariously on my lap in the square inch of sofa she has left me.

To go out on a complte limb, the reason for this rather random comment is to say that I told my friends the other night that you had been Matt Damon’s Russian coach. That is right isn’t it? even if it isn’t we’re going to keep that hush hush as you are now my claim to fame. Anyhoo, they were “well impressed”. It can’t have been much fun for you though. I think the most he does is ask for a taxi and then tell a young girl that, contrary to what she has been told all her life, he was infact the one who killed her parents, not the mother with suicidal tendancies.I’m guessing it pays well. :)

25. pleite - January 14, 2008

Good lord. Family blogging! I can’t believe that Marsha lets you loose on her blog. But, as she does, I’m going to take advantage of your youth and, therefore, no doubt stellar technology skills, to ask you to do me a little favour. When Marsha comments, for some reason the link that pops up is to her old blog. Dunno why. So, when she isn’t looking, go and have a good old root around in her blog-drawers and, probably under profile, or some other such modern-sounding heading, go and change it to her real blog.

Darling, I’m awfully touched that you read too. Please don’t take any of the things I write to be respectable and to-be-followed grown-up advice. In fact, as I tend to do with advice from the Russian, do the exact opposite of what I say in all cases when in doubt.

It is, indeed, true that I helped Mr. Damon say some of his lines. You are right to think it didn’t take long. But long enough for me to develop a crush, of course, and look forward to when I’d be getting invitations to dinner and Christmas cards in the post. Not a sausage. I suppose he might be busy.

Have just watched, by the way, the whole second series of Spaced, which I thought I already had done, but realised I hadn’t. Marvellous. Much better than The Office, which I watched subsequently.

26. MountPenguin - January 14, 2008

Daisy, congratulations on your first blog comment! One day you will look back on that moment with fondness, remembering it as your transition from Internet infant to Web 2.0 adult.

Actually, the only reason most people read BiB’s blog is because of his Hollywood connection, we hope it will rub off on us.

Are you the Gaelic Marsha-daughter, by the way?

27. marshaklein - January 14, 2008

Bah! Is nothing sacred?!

I don’t know why the link that accompanies my comments is a Blogger link. According to my profile, my “primary” (ie only!) blog is my wordpress one. Daisy, although she does indeed have youth on her side, is even less technically savvy than I am. Perhaps if we combine forces we can figure it out.

28. marshaklein - January 14, 2008

Does this work?

29. marshaklein - January 14, 2008


30. pleite - January 14, 2008

Marsha, mums 1, daughters 0. I’d thought about putting up some more photos but the whole process has given me BSE so I can’t be bothered. To do with fonts. My comp speaks Russian, so Cyrillic often gets into things’ names and then the computer collapses from depression having to deal with so many different squiggles. All a pain.

Penguin, I wish I was spreading a bit more Hollywood glamour around the place at the moment. I feel decidedly unHollywoody, which is probably no bad thing. I’ve got a feeling I might be about to jump on the vomiting-virus bandwagon which surely no actor has ever done. Which is, at least, an excuse not to blog. I have nothing at all to write.

31. marshaklein - January 14, 2008

To be fair to Daisy, she hasn’t actually seen your comment yet, but I’m sure she wouldn’t have known much more than I did. Thank goodness I still have one daughter whom I can outsmart when it comes to technology (just!)

Penguin, Daisy is indeed my “Gaelic-daughter”.

Poor thing, you sound more than a bit under the weather. Look after yourself, won’t you?

32. Marsha Klein - January 14, 2008

It’s Daisy again.Pah! The office.Actually I haven’t watched that much of it but i didn’t find it that funny. It may just be because it is too clever for me when I slump on the sofa and sort of half watch it but it seems to me that, dare I say it, Ricky Gervais can only really do one character, judging by what I have seen of Extras. Apologies if there are any die hard Ricky Gervais fans reading this. Also, I agree. Matt Damon is perhaps just a wee bit gorgeous :) Well I wouldn’t turn him away if he came knocking on the front door!

Penguin, I am already feeling slightly addicted to the whole blogging thing.I should really be revising for the English prelim I have tommorow!

The gaelic book came today and I was very amused at what you had written on the envelope. “Please handle with care (contains live tigers)” I don’t think the postman paid much attention to that though!

33. narrowback - January 14, 2008

don’t tell me BiB that you count gaelic among your linguistic skills…

a friend from Galway once tried to teach me and some friends how to say “Does he have cattle and land?” in gaelic…she said it was always the first question her grandmother asked when she’d tell her she had a new boyfriend.

34. MountPenguin - January 16, 2008

Glad the Gaelic book arrived (Narrowback, I am just misusing BiB’s block to conduct private business transactions. Personally – and no disrespect meant – I have not much interest in Gaelic, but my parents were in Scotland a couple of years ago (tossing deep-fried cabers or something) and thought I might like it… After much thought I can’t me even thinking about learning Gaelic in the next couple of decades and happily enough found a suitable recipient).

The tiger thing is a cunning way of preventing postal theft, as any potential postal thief will think twice about a possible altercation with one or more live tigers and divert his / her attention to less dangerous-sounding targets.

35. IsarSteve - January 16, 2008

….my parents were in Scotland a couple of years ago (tossing deep-fried cabers or something)…

How unusual..!
I thought the scots prefered deep-fried mars bars. BTW, is there a Gaelic word for mars bar? I presume it is a modern Gaelic learner?

36. narrowback - January 16, 2008

some years ago I enrolled in a gaelic language program… I lasted all of two classes.

37. pleite - January 17, 2008

Narrowback, no, Gaelic isn’t in my repertoire. I’ve occasionally, for about twelve minutes, become mentally aroused by Welsh or Manx or Cornish but I am through through through with languages new new new. If I can’t string a proper German sentence together after 17 years here, I’d have no chance with a language I could only apply in my head.

Isar, Gaelic for Mars Bar is mBhears fBhear. Or thereabouts.

Penguin, you want to be careful writing things like that on packages to the UK. You’ll probably be arrested next time you enter the country for fomenting terror or anti-social behaviour or something.

Daisy (look, look, your link’s to the old blog again. Might just be the cookie on the home comp if you weren’t logged in when you commented), I’ve since watched a Ricky Gervais concert, not that I spend my whole time entertaining myself on the computer, you understand, and I heartily discourage that sort of thing, and trust your exam went well, and just say no (to everything pernicious) and only do a gap year of it’s for a good reason and wash behind your ears and… and… he wasn’t bad. Still himself-like – he actually jokes in this show that he can’t do accents – but witty. I thought I’d get bored of his trying-to-be-provocative after ten seconds but he at least carries it all off wittily and even quite charmingly.

Marsha (or perhaps the different links are a way of distinguishing one family member from the other. Blog-share. Very modern. And green, probably), I think I’m still recovering from Christmas. But thanks for your concern. Feeling much better now.

38. Marsha Klein - January 17, 2008

Arse! The link is still playing up…well as I’m sure the Mother will agree with me on this, as far as computers go, I am virtually illiterate. I’ll get Brian to look at it :)

History exam went reasonably well. Modern Studies tommorow. “The Government has given the NHS sufficient funds and therefore no increase in tax is needed”. Discuss……Help!!!

P.S I apologise for any gramatical errors I may have made in the typing of this comment. Apparently I have made a couple in the previous comments, according to the Mother. You all seem quite clever people and I don’t want you reading this despairing of today’s youth.

P.S.S Oh yes I could get quite used to this. Not having to actually write any clever, witty posts but just comment on other people’s!

39. MountPenguin - January 18, 2008

Yes, that did go through my mind but I’m not letting The Terrorists (or the Paranoid State Reaction to The Terrorists) spoil a little bit of fun.

Daisy, grammatical errors is perfectly alright, no ones perfect, but if u start writing like this cuz u think its cool ill reelly send some tigers, like.

40. IsarSteve - January 19, 2008

Temple Church:
A late postscript and plug for Diamond Geezer (On my Bloglist) who has just put some images of the Temple Church on to his Flickr site. http://www.flickr.com/photos/dgeezer/
(I too have a Flickr site, but wouldn’t dream of mentioning it – too many half naked men!)
For those of you (ex)Londoners who haven’t seen Diamond Geezers Blog: It can sometimes be interesting:
Please excuse the plugs BiB

41. IsarSteve - January 19, 2008

Why don’t comments with links appear on the recent comments list?

42. pleite - January 21, 2008

Isar, sorry about that. Anything with a couple of links or more automatically goes for moderation so I have to rescue them from limbo. But rescue I did, and I’m very glad to see Diamond Geezer’s photos, far superior to my own. It’s a really, really special church/area. Can’t recommend it highly enough. The stained glass is breathtaking.

Penguin, I will know which authorities to hassle when you suddenly disappear off the face of the earth. What will you be known as in the press when your plight comes to light? The Prenzl-bomber? The postal terrorist? No way of knowing. (Does orange suit you?)

Daisy, commenting without having your own blog is a well-known and time-worn phenomenon. No requirement to have a blog of your own. I almost discourage it, in fact. At your tender age, you should be doing good, healthy things like walking up mountains and gathering mushrooms.

43. MountPenguin - January 21, 2008

I think I’d prefer to just be known as The Penguin. I even have a small umbrella collection.

44. pleite - January 22, 2008

True. You are already blessed with a mediagenic terror name.

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