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Supermarket sweep November 24, 2006

Posted by BiB in Uncategorized.
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I’m a man of routine. And the November routine is not one to be envied. It’s all darkness, darkness, darkness. My fault, of course, for being a night-owl, but at times like this I would love to be a regular guy, up with the lark and sucking up every ray available from 8 till 4. But I’m not. By the time I’m ready for the day to begin, have abluted, have tried (and failed) to talk the Russian into some wrongness, have done a good five hours of blog-surfing and work-ignoring, I barely make it to the supermarket before closing time when we decide that – oh, go on then – we WILL – surprise, surprise – have wine with dinner after all.

Crime has come to Pankow – German for Ruislip – and the Russian recently told me with great excitement that our local Edeka was held up. Imagine! In Ruislip! So we’ve decided to stop doing huge shopperies and, as we used to do when we had excellent markets on hand in St. Petersburg, go shopping every day in the hope that we might get a piece of the action. At 7.30pm.

But there’s a price to pay for this routine. Apart from never having witnessed a hold-up – perhaps criminals are early risers – my metronomic regularity coincides with the metronomic regularity of Radio Edeka, which has, presumably, only bought the rights to play four songs over and over.

Today’s shoppery was meant to be strictly wine only. Straight in, whizz straight to the last aisle, wine in trolley and back to my old lady on till 1. But my autism and decidely low-tech internal computer refuse to let me take such a revolutionary short-cut. No, it was up and down all the aisles, including the cat-food one. I rolled lugubriously down the fruit-&-veg aisle, worried that folk would think I was awfully scummy as I made it to the end of it without an item darkening my trolley’s door. To punish me for my unhealthy lifestyle, I was forced to endure Whitney wailing, “And I-ee-I-ee-I will always love you-ou-ou-ou-ou-ou-ou,” all the while. I tried in vain to turn my trolley in a south-westerly direction, but the wheels jammed fast and insisted I show extreme restraint as I went down the sweeties aisle, wondering throughout if ANYONE had ever bought those sweets in the shape of a violin with Mozart’s mug on the box.

To my pleasure and, thanks to drink-induced Alzheimer’s, surprise, Whitney was replaced with, “If you’re going to San Francisco, doo-be doo, be sure to wear…” I lingered lovingly at the powdered soups, hoping I might see a hint of criminal activity and singing along. “Cor blimey,” I thought. “I wonder if that revamped version of The Farm’s “Altogether Now”, reworked as part of a Challenge Anneka special to see if she could find them all queuing for opening time at Liverpool pubs on a Tuesday morning will come next.” And sure enough it did. I bought myself a Pot Noodle in their honour.

Thankfully, my quest was almost at an end. By the time I’d selected the evening’s tipple and communed with my favourite till-lady, I was only just lucky enough to catch the opening strains of, “Ooh, what a feeli-i-in’; we’ll be dancin’ on the ceilin’.” I bought myself some fags to celebrate.

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Comments»

1. Welsherella - November 24, 2006

Fabulous, sweetie! Just fabulous! I was singing along with you. I am so the opposite of your night owl-ness, preferring to get up at 5am and go to bed at roughly 7pm. Not great when I’m on lates but people are getting used to it, I think…

2. BiB - November 24, 2006

Bed at 7pm? I thought that only happened in children’s books that encouraged good behaviour. But good for you. The only time I’ve been a natural early bird was on holiday in Thailand. Up before 6, or whenever it was the sun came up, and in bed by 9 or 10. It was heaven. But I’d like to sleep 24 hours a day in winter.

3. Welsherella - November 24, 2006

Well, I don’t think I’ve ever managed 7pm but I did do 9pm last week – it would have been great if I hadn’t been getting up at 5…

4. aimee m. - November 24, 2006

now what Berlin needs is a Kaufmarkt “greatest hits” CD collection. I’ll bet our P’Berg Extra shares the same soundtrack as your Edeka. Will have to save the piano schlock at the Galleria at Alexanderplatz for the box set, i suppose.

5. Daggi - November 24, 2006

I did start writing a comment about “Extra Radio” – my, what jingles – straight out of Room 101 – but WordPress ate it.

6. matkr - November 25, 2006

but surely nothing beats our local lidl playing the special cd offer this week – roger whittaker doing german xmas tunes (i think)… check out this link and don’t all rush to buy the stock at once:
http://www.lidl.de/de/home.nsf/pages/c.o.20061123.p.Weihnachts-CD.ar24

7. pleite - November 25, 2006

Matkr, hello. And welcome. Luckily, I am spoilt for choice and have a Lidl at the other end of the street should the excitement at Edeka ever get too much. I’m pretending to be posh and rich now and have been boycotting it for months, but that Roger Whittaker CD might just have me reversing my decision.

Daggi, on behalf of wordpress and all wordpressers, I apologise. Yet I still hope you might be tempted to take the plunge. But I can forgive Extra almost anything. You can pay by visa card there. Hurrah! Free shopping!

Aimee M. Hello and welcome to you too. As mentioned above, I am so excited by the thought of putting shopping on a credit card at an Extra that I have, so far, forgotten to notice the music. I shall keep an ear out from now on.

Welshy, delicious sleep. I’m on a bit of a socio- and workathon at the mo and am NOT getting my regulation 11 hours a night. It’s no fun.

8. Blonde at Heart - November 30, 2006

I am in the office, reading your post, ignoring work, and I just burst laughing out loud when someone entered. There is nothing funny in the newspapers, so they must think I lose my mind.

Congrats on the move! Like the new format.

9. pleite - November 30, 2006

BaH, welcome to my wordpress home. Glad you like it, and glad I invited a laugh as you trawled through the Arab press. Hope you’re not still working yourself to exhaustion.

10. Blonde at Heart - November 30, 2006

Oh, no. The new guy arrived and now it is working part-time, like a normal person.

11. BiB - November 30, 2006

Good stuff. You don’t want to push yourself too hard, even at your young age.


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