Cocktails August 18, 2006Posted by BiB in Uncategorized.
There’ll be no time for me to check back to get your top tips, but I’ll ask anyway, and maybe, if anyone is good enough to answer quickly, I’ll receive your tips telepathically. It’s all in the drinks, the panic. The food’s under control, I think. We’ve been to get halal everything. Halal chuck. Halal desserts. Halal cheese. (OK, halal desserts and halal cheese are pushing it, but they were bought in a shop that dispenses with dodgy, haram rennet.) Got some alcohol-free champers.
I can’t cook. Well, I can, sort of, but the Russian certainly cooks much better and I would never be set loose in the kitchen to cook for guests who know their onions, as tonight’s do. So I’m in charge of the table. Might even stretch to a table-cloth this evening, you never know. And smelly candles. And I’ll try to get the glasses gleaming, rather than befingerprinted, as they normally are. I hoped to do my once-in-a-blue-moon posh drinks, but forgot half the ingredients. This is where you come in. I have two posh drinks. A kir, or kir royal, and that palate-freshening thing with gin, tonic and lemon sorbet. Only I forgot the crème de cassis for the kir/kir royal. And I forgot the gin for the second thing. And the tonic. Fuck. So, having rooted around in the cupboards, I’ve come up with the following ersatz ingredients. Should I or shouldn’t I? Instead of the crème de cassis, some raspberry syrupy nonsense. That might not be too bad. But the gin and tonic thing without gin or tonic. Buggery fuck. Bacardi instead of gin? And what about the tonic? Tap-water?
We must never have guests. Or must simply get rich enough to hire caterers when anyone even mentions popping over for a cup of tea.