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Accessorising May 23, 2006

Posted by BiB in Uncategorized.
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My wardrobe is dwindling, due to some inexplicable force of nature, and I am making the most of a few select items with every greater, and perhaps indecent, frequency. Colour coordination is becoming problematic. And sometimes the outfit is so bright I worry that people will think I’ve established a cult and then I’d have to have sex with them all and look out for some convenient comet to fly off on the coat-tails of. Which would never do.
I dressed up in preparation to go out and get some fresh air into my lungs. And I needed to buy some fags. I was in a dazzlingly light pair of strides and the lightish shirt covering my upper portions was, natch, giving the Hale-Bopp effect. Luckily, it’s freezing today and I found a (slightly ragged) black jumper to throw on, turning myself from cult-leader into French-waiter-in-reverse. But never mind. Still, freezing as it may have been, it wasn’t jacket-weather, so where was I going to carry all my bits? Left trouser-pocket for wallet (in case you should want to pickpocket me in future). Keys, inhaler – yes, I know I shouldn’t smoke – in right. But I don’t like to leave the house when on the continent unless accompanied by documentation issued by Her Britannic Majesty. Thankfully, the light shirt has a breast pocket. And, darlings, what a great accessory the passport-under-the-jumper made. At a push, and to the uninitiated, it looks just like a big hefty pec. For all you holders of foreign passports, I’m sure the effect wouldn’t work nearly so well.
Once I’ve got a shirt with two breast-pockets and steal another British passport, I’ll be a muscle-queen at last…

Comments»

1. leon - May 23, 2006

It’s true that however much I might seasonally dabble with sweaters and t-shirts, yer basic mens’ shirt remains an endlessly useful garment. Slim-cut with a flowery sort of print and a largish collar, for preference, in my case. Wear it untucked with jeans for a casual sort of look (not with a smart shirt though, unless you’re going on a night out in Romford), with a tailored suit for a New Dandyism kind of thing, or with a tie/sweater combo for a sort of geek-chic effect (though in my case I end up looking a bit like all three members of ‘We Are Scientists’, which is possibly too geeky). I could wax on about its wardrobe possibilities for even longer than this, but I’ll spare you.

I got my best flowery shirts from Zara too – bargain. The humble shirt, ladies and gentlemen.

Sadly most of my shirts only have a single pocket so with the passport it would look a bit like I’d got a strangely overdeveloped left arm.

2. The Blind Flaneur - May 23, 2006

Don’t forget the Porkpie hat. Very de rigeur, I’m told

3. BiB - May 23, 2006

I learnt the shirt-and-jeans look in Paris, although our French friends – though this was back in the mid-90s, and they’ve caught on to grunge now – would always tuck in, of course. I’ve got some very lairy shirts indeed, which I haven’t dared yet sport this season. Hopefully I’ll be brave enough to soon.

I don’t do headwear, unless a very modest winter hat, although Russians were very taken with my original-to-them take on the plain old baubled thing. But EiNY then gave me an ushanka and I was as Russian as your next man. Of course I’ve flirted with the baseball cap, but I carried it off about as well as William Hague.

4. Bowleserised - May 24, 2006

Yes, yes, but what are you going to wear for the burlesquey type evening tonight? I am about to start wrestling with the whole pin curl thing in yet another bid to pull off the Lauren Bacall hair do. Mike has his pinstripes all ready to go.

5. BiB - May 24, 2006

Oh flip. I mean, what are the options when my wardrobe is a yawning chasm of non-sartorialness with the odd moth-eaten item from H&M thrown in for the sake of tradition?

6. Bowleserised - May 24, 2006

Can you fashion a cravat out of something?

7. BiB - May 24, 2006

Would wrapping myself in a duvet or curtain get me in, do you think?


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