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Workin’ and sunnin’ May 12, 2006

Posted by BiB in Uncategorized.
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I’ve done about as much work as the combined populace of the 100%-long-term-unemployment house across the road in recent days. Well, OK, not nil, but not enough to afford the lolling around in the sun and eating and drinking (not booze) out that I’ve been doing of late. Which is just fucking bliss. Why do we, as Laurie Lee pointed out, always forget the one of the two seasons of the year that we’re not in? (He didn’t go in for this four-seasons lark. Just winter and summer for him.) Now that it’s been summer for about a week, and because I’ve been out traipsing up and down, and not been skint, and, therefore, having a lovely time, I am trying to remember if it’s always as lovely as this. Has summer always been so fucking wonderful? (Or is the Russian grating prozac into my buckwheat porridge?) Have I loved life this much 34 times before? Have I said every year – well, OK, give or take the first few – to whomsoever might bear to listen, “I MUST emigrate to somewhere where it’s never arse-cold”. Mind you, the ex, his cousin and I once played a game, sitting in her basement flat in Brighton in, say, 1993, on perhaps the greyest and most freezing day since records began, working out where we could live. And in the end, having worked out criteria like not-fatally-dangerous-for-queens, not former colony (we were young. We were being Euro-snobs), not horrible in other ways (including disgraceful 20th century history, I now remember. Japan thus came unstuck. Anyway, Japan’s winter’s shit too, isn’t it? Being Catholic or Islamic were also no-nos) and, most importantly, decent climate, we realised we could only live in Greece, which made us all decide to live in England for ever. (I broke the contract.)

So, anyway, I’m almost wetting myself with happiness these days, not that I’m bipolar, you understand. Yet I have been avoiding, funnily enough, translations about incredibly dull bits of machinery like the plague. But I’ve got a social duty to perform that will take up most of the weekend and so I’m on an enforced workathon. The people from the 100%-long-term-unemployment house are rubbing it in by sitting, at my expense – fuck, must do tax declaration by the end of the month. Fuck – and lording it on the sun-drenched side of the street. I will sit indoors all day, alternating between Schubert and Madonna, and try to earn a kopeck or two.

Anyway, why I began all this, and what I haven’t forgotten from previous summers, and without wanting to get too sexy, is the noted increased hormonal activity once the sun comes out. This is hardly surprising, seeing as folk are walking around with limbs and organisms flaunted all over the shop. Other bloggers, back on the island – Jesus, is there even sun there? – are having differing reactions to the increased exposed flesh. GSE is struggling with the exposed feet and recommends shalwar kameezes be worn at all times. Whereas Sex, Money and html begs to differ, and is pleased that all the totty has been released from seasonal imprisonment, unless it comes from Croydon.

Well, I am an Engländer. We are a Wintervolk, I suppose. And I suppose I should just put up with the 8-month misery every year. It makes the nice months all the more worthwhile. (Or should we all just move to California/Australia?) And, god, German men are good-looking.

Comments»

1. Bowleserised - May 13, 2006

Isn’t it just heavenly? The blossom in Lychener makes me feel like twirling around like wotsit in the Sound of Music (have only seen that film once). I even just found myself telling my parents that they MUST come visit again in the summer because it’s do wonderful here.
I like the game of working out where to live. The homophobia thing is a bummer though (god excuse awful pun – I didn’t get enough sleep last night but anyway you know I mean it humourously) and does restrict you a lot. Poland must be off the cards too… Athens was recommended to me by the Cybergypsy. I need to read Lizzie Speller’s guide to it because that would make me crave going there. I like my winters though, and I’m starting to wonder if maybe the whole central European thing is best for me. But i do still want to live in a whole bunch of places, now I’ve got started.

2. Michael Scott Moore - May 13, 2006

My mom was just here from California and said the weather in Berlin was better.

3. lukeski - May 13, 2006

Central London must be bliss for the straight single male. As is the tradition in Britain, the merest hint of sunshine and temperatures of more than 10ºC lead to the appearance of the dreaded ‘summer wardrobe’. Hemlines go up, toes and arms are exposed, sunglasses are worn, and blotchy legs, hidden for the winter beneath trousers and tights, feel the touch of the summer air.

4. leon - May 16, 2006

It’s the wearing of sunglasses in conditions of near-total darkness that especially worries me.

5. BiB - May 16, 2006

I didn’t have hay-fever in England. Or not as badly. It has that in its favour, then. Here I am sneezing and blotchy. Still, anything’s worth it for the sake of not being cold. Aber parental visits? Yikes. My mother visited once in an utterly arctic November and froze solid throughout. Not good. (And she said the house we lived in was “disgusting”.)


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