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Arachnid chat January 11, 2006

Posted by BiB in Uncategorized.

Jens, our house spider, has my sympathy in ever greater quantities the more I think about him. A very public-spirited, but anonymous – blog-wise – Jon in Australia has given me encouraging news on the NZ-fauna front. There are no snakes there and only one spider which is pretty rare.

But no wonder Jens is single, forcing himself to be celibate, starving himself to death and shunning spider society if the only chance of a bit of company he’s got comes in the shape of cheap sluts like Kati Po.
I mean look at her. She’s way overweight, a bit frumpy, and who’s fooled by the orange stripe down the back? As if that makes you fashionable! Silly cow.

Whereas our Jens… Well, look at him.
Now I must point out that this isn’t ACTUALLY Jens, but it’s a fairly good likeness. Still, you can see he’s got some style. A bit of grace. He’s a sophisticated spider. I mean, when did Kati Po ever suffer from depression? No, she’s not good enough, and I’m not going to invite her back with me to the Old World to relieve Jens of his woes. No, I think he’s better off alone than with some colonial upstart like her.

But I’ll be having a word with Jens before I go. He needs to get out more. I’ll encourage him onto the web – boom boom! – while I’m gone. There must be some sites where bugs with legs can get together, upload profiles, then invite each other out for, say, dinner and a bit of a spin.

Well, I must confess there’s a traumatic childhood tale of one BiB pet not surviving my absence for just a week, and I’m a bit worried about the arachnid-Russian dynamic in this household. I can sense the rivalry, and I wouldn’t be surprised if there’s quite a bit of vying for supremacy whilst I’m away. Love and friendship, eh? It ain’t easy…



1. Wyndham the Triffid - January 11, 2006

I can see him in the chorus line with those legs. In fact, they remind me of an ex-girlfriend; but she had only two of them. As far as I know.

2. leon - January 11, 2006

Also reminds me of an ex-girlfriend; though in this case, more in terms of spending all its time in the bathroom and eating worryingly infrequently.

I always thought all spiders were called “Boris”, so it’s nice to see one breaking the mould.

3. BiB - January 15, 2006

Leon, I suppose they are in Russia…

Actually, Russia, creatures, names… it all leads me onto a startling little fact for your delectation. Now between you and me, I’ve never asked Jens if he’d like to be known as Jens. But my rudeness pales into insignificance when you consider that Russians really do have stock names for creatures. Unfortunately, I can only think of one example at the moment. But, for your information, Russian cockroaches, male or female, are exclusively known as Stasik, short for Stanislav, which seems rather grand. (If you’ll permit a change in creature-size somewhat, then crocodiles are called Gena (Gennadij).)

More important creature-name examples as and when I think of them…

4. BiB - October 16, 2006

…dogs are called Bobik.

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