Arachnid chat January 11, 2006Posted by BiB in Uncategorized.
Jens, our house spider, has my sympathy in ever greater quantities the more I think about him. A very public-spirited, but anonymous – blog-wise – Jon in Australia has given me encouraging news on the NZ-fauna front. There are no snakes there and only one spider which is pretty rare.
But no wonder Jens is single, forcing himself to be celibate, starving himself to death and shunning spider society if the only chance of a bit of company he’s got comes in the shape of cheap sluts like Kati Po.
I mean look at her. She’s way overweight, a bit frumpy, and who’s fooled by the orange stripe down the back? As if that makes you fashionable! Silly cow.
Whereas our Jens… Well, look at him.
Now I must point out that this isn’t ACTUALLY Jens, but it’s a fairly good likeness. Still, you can see he’s got some style. A bit of grace. He’s a sophisticated spider. I mean, when did Kati Po ever suffer from depression? No, she’s not good enough, and I’m not going to invite her back with me to the Old World to relieve Jens of his woes. No, I think he’s better off alone than with some colonial upstart like her.
But I’ll be having a word with Jens before I go. He needs to get out more. I’ll encourage him onto the web – boom boom! – while I’m gone. There must be some sites where bugs with legs can get together, upload profiles, then invite each other out for, say, dinner and a bit of a spin.
Well, I must confess there’s a traumatic childhood tale of one BiB pet not surviving my absence for just a week, and I’m a bit worried about the arachnid-Russian dynamic in this household. I can sense the rivalry, and I wouldn’t be surprised if there’s quite a bit of vying for supremacy whilst I’m away. Love and friendship, eh? It ain’t easy…