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Mug-shots December 27, 2005

Posted by BiB in Uncategorized.
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From Finland for Thought, this is a bit of a hoot, in a nicely narcissistic way. You upload a mug-shot of yourself (or whomsoever you happen to have pictures of, of course) and it tells you whom you most look like, although I have a sneaky suspicion it matches pose as much as anything else. But anyway. A huge dent for my confidence, because I only look like women, whereas I’ve always thought I was a brutally masculine lump of beefcake. But the men I most look like – although perhaps their database only has 12 photos – are Marcello Mastroianni, John Travolta, Eminem and Muhammad Ali. Oh well. Makes a change from being told I look like fucking Paul Mc-fucking-Cartney. But the person I absolutely most look like, way more than anyone else, to my mystification, is Katie Holmes. I am equally mystified, and almost proud, to say that, to some extent, I look like Helena Bonham Carter and – this is my proudest moment – the great BS. Go and upload a (face-on, it can’t cope with profile shots) snap immediately.

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1. leon - December 28, 2005

I got Carmelite nun Edith Stein (way out on both sex and morality there I’m afraid), Patrick Stewart (I have plenty of hair), and Matt Le Blanc, none of whom I especially resemble.

2. BiB - December 28, 2005

Not a bad selection, though, if I may say so. In fact, if old Edith took off her habit and had a bit of a splash around in a wardrobe, she could almost turn into one of your lanky, haughty Berlin beauties, couldn’t she?

And the two men are both perfectly fanciable. I think you should consider yourself handsome. I got Muhammad Ali and Britney Spears, remember.

3. BiB - December 28, 2005

…having lied and told the other half I got Brad Pitt, Vitali Klichko and Aleksei Nemov.

4. leon - December 28, 2005

I tried it on a photo of an ex girlfriend that I happened to have lying around on my hard drive (as you do), and she apparently looks like no-one on earth.

5. lukeski - December 28, 2005

Queen Mother. Don’t ask. Andriy Shevchenko. Penelope Cruz. Ewan McGregor (vaguely makes sense).

6. BiB - December 28, 2005

Lukeski, phwoar. I’ve always fancied the pants off that QM bird. Andriy Shevchenko is, clearly, drop-your-Calvins – I have never possessed a pair of Calvins – gorgeous, as is Ewan. So you are a bastard. I suppose I should be vaguely flattered at Eminem being quite near the top of my male lookalikes. Although his face isn’t actually at all handsome, but the dye seems to work in his case, and the body is pleasing on the eye. I have never died my hair and never had a hint of a muscle. But computers know best…

Aber Penelope Cruz(ova)? Must we all resemble an ex- or current partner of Tom Cruise’s of the opposite sex? Is this one of life’s unspoken rules? Too queer.

7. BiB - December 28, 2005

By the way, the Russian came up with some list of unknowns. A composer of some sort and someone else. He then asked if the devil had featured in my list. (But then there is the concept of ‘handsome devil’, so I can sleep easy.)

8. lukeski - December 29, 2005

Ms Sakalys was a major fan of Eminem last time I saw her some 4 1/2 years ago. Which photo of yourself did you use? I, of course spent this afternoon posting every picture of a human on my PC onto the site. With some interesting results. My three Iberian friends (a Basque, Galician and a Canary Islander) actually resembled their lookalikes. My nephews (whose father is Chinese) were (unsurprisingly) racially stereotyped on the whole, although the older one resembled the QM as well…

9. BiB - December 29, 2005

I think I’ve forgotten the Lukeski family fact that your nephews had a Chinese father. But didn’t your brother live in China? Or he is married to a man? Or was he formerly a woman? Or is it just a chinatastic coincidence that two siblings have a China connection?

I think me being paired with Muhammad Ali (and the photo of The Greatest is not when he was young and healthy, I’m sorry to say) is awfully good. A (white) acquaintance of mine is the spitting image of Kriss Akabusi. No-one but me could see it, though. By the way, the snap was the one that used to be in my profile before I cloned myself into Dolly the sheep (plural). Just a regular black-and-white mug-shot.

10. I hate my neighbours - December 29, 2005

Hmm. My results were Einstein and Hitler (again!).

I think this should worry me.

11. I hate my neighbours - December 29, 2005

No, seriously, the results were as follows – and I’ve never heard of most of them.

But Wikipedia helped a bit.

So:
Liv Ullmann (who? presumably because she’s looking a bit confused, like I am in the picture I used);
Avril Lavigne (who? ditto, but looking pissed off too);
South Korean Ex-President Kim Dae-jung;
French actor Jean Reno (“actually Don Juan Moreno y Jederique Jimenez”);
Mancunian Physicist and all-round hater of calories, James P. Joule;
Meg Ryan, Edward Said, and somewhat more pleasingly (but like all others, extremely inaccurately) Kurt Weill.

Otherwise: afro-american actor Laurence Fischburne; and Swiss Politican (“Faces of the World’s Most Famous 2,400 Men and Women”, hmm) Samuel Schmid.

12. I hate my neighbours - December 29, 2005

And finally, my “blog existence”, while eating home-made yoghurt, is either Gwyneth Paltrow or Peter Ustinov. Or Anna Kournikova, Diana Rigg, and a Ms Shakira.

13. BiB - October 16, 2006

Daggi, you and your internet identity cover a very good range of looks there. Bloody well done!


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