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Britons polite 59% of the time October 21, 2005

Posted by BiB in Uncategorized.
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Awfully important research shows that Brits are polite 59% of the time. I bet Germans can’t compete. Anyway, this presumably means that Britons are pretty damned impolite or – let’s throw caution to the wind – actually RUDE 41% of the time. That means for 590 minutes and 24 seconds a day, Brits are walking around effing and blinding and tripping people up and not letting others off the Tube before getting on and slamming doors in folks’ faces and refusing to say please and thank you. Hopefully, 480 of the 590 minutes and 24 seconds of outright rudeness are spent being rude asleep. I’m constantly telling folk, “No I will not give up my seat,” and daringly spitting when I’m asleep. Which means that there’s only 110 minutes and 24 seconds of rudeness ‘up-time’ to avail of a day. Not even two measly hours for a nice bit of rudeness… Well, for the sake of the nation’s mental health, maybe folk should spend as much of this time alone as possible. I propose cabins – called something catchy, like ‘impolitesses’ – being dotted around the country, rather like those nice nuclear shelters in Albania, where people could go and have their lunch, say, and a bit of a swear and a scowl. They could perhaps be fitted with cans of spray paint, so you could make the most of your rudeness up-time to do some rude graffiti, say, with extra swearing (for example, “blast” or “flip”.) But you probably can’t have folk slinking off to the impolitesse, or impo, for almost 2 hours a day. An hour at most. So there’s still 50 minutes and 24 seconds to be coped with a day, but if that’s spread nicely through the remaining 849 minutes and 36 seconds of polite time, perhaps we might just manage to cope with it…

Comments»

1. Blonde at Heart - August 24, 2006

I am sure that if such research would have been conducted in Israel the resutls would be much scarier. Israelis are not very known for their manners.

2. BiB - August 24, 2006

I’ve got a feeling Bren was sometimes a little annoyed with manners in Israel. I remember him being amazed that drivers slowed down to let you cross the road when he got back to Australia.


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