Cuckoo, that would make a very nice read, and I’m sure an Indian road-crossing experience is a lot hairier than the average German one. I remember one pal being very happy, on his one and only visit to India, to see an elephant being led down a Bombay street.

Varske, ha! Good dilemma. What is more important? Forgoing the chance to kill some damned nuisance human or saving your car? Perhaps it’s best you are yet to witness the conflict. Is Slovenia all orderly then? Honestly. They’re not proper Slavs at all.

ROFLMAO

Wow, thanks for the much needed look at real life — it’s just sooooo much work getting across the road or even to the back yard anymore!

LOL

You’re ‘aight wit me!’. . . and that’s saying something!

Probably I’ll write a post on this one day.

Penguin, I remain the only person in Berlin without a bike. Though I have ridden one once or twice and found it unscary enough, but worry that my own crap bike-skills will put others at danger. I can’t possibly take one hand off the handlebars to indicate without toppling over so always just make a dash for it and hope for the best. Asking for trouble. Hope walking compensates for bikelessness.

B., when I was blissfully young and foolish, I used to (sometimes) cycle to university in London. From Crouch End to Russell Square. It must have taken hours. And I had to do the last bit up a hill in Crouch End on foot, sweaty and breathless. And, yes, London drivers would occasionally try to kill you. I think they found that fun. I learnt quickly not to try and speed through a traffic light that was just about to change to red. Not enough time to get through the junction before stuff started coming at you in different directions.

Ed, I’ve hardly been in cars in Berlin. Though a car did screech to a halt at my shins the other day when it was my turn to cross. But I remember driving through Germany once, as a passenger, natch, and the driver found the Autobahns hilarious. He’d daringly see how fast his car could go now that it was allowed only to see old-woman-hair in a Mercedes tank in his mirror encouraging him at proximity to get out of the way.

Marsha, indeed, you are clean. You’ve kicked the habit. You will never drive again. The road I grew up on in London was very narrow. With all the cars parked on either side of the street, there was only room for one car to drive up and down, yet it was a two-way street, so mini traffic-jams were the backdrop to my youth. Yet it was in a ladder of streets, so I said, almost non-stop for years on end, that I would write to the council and say, “Make alternate streets one-way in opposite directions.” Never did, of course. (Was on a slope, too. If I went to visit my mother by bike, had to push the bastard the last few metres too.)

D.Z., I too am perturbed by the pavement cyclist. Especially when they have their nice rutted paths to cycle along. Or, if not, what’s wrong with the road? I happily cycled down the road bit of Danziger Strasse not that long ago, on a DB bike (hired for me by a pal), and didn’t die once. Mind you, I saw two friends both cycling backwards the other day, on the pavement, and I suppose, on this occasion, I had to endorse their caution.

Steve, I’ve occasionally had that parental hiss. I probably am more likely to not walk if I see a child at the lights, depending on how lentilly and, therefore, hissy their parents look. And I’d forgotten about that Ossi arrow. Someone told me about it very soon after I’d arrived here, thinking I’d need to cosmopolitanise my highway code. I nodded and didn’t dare admit that I couldn’t even drive. Next time I’m over your way buying bath-plugs and Levi’s, I’ll compare the road-crossing experience and get back to you with a comparative study.

Suburbanlife, thank you. That’s very kind of you to say so. I suppose I should almost appreciate the people-watching opportunities having to stand around for months at a time affords. Mind you, just as well I work at home and am not in a rush to go anywhere. If I had an office job, I imagine I’d be months late every day. “Sorry, I had to cross a road.”

Sylvia, it’s one of those near-mythic legends about Germany and I’ve never quite known whether it’s true or not so am glad that D.Z. has confirmed. I once heard a tour-guide taking a group of freshly-arrived tourists on their tour and one of the first thing she warned them about was jaywalking. So it’s grabbed the imagination.

@liukchik: junctions in the UK constantly confuse me because quite often the pedestrian crossing part doesn’t have its own pedestrian lights, and you have to make an educated guess as to when it’s safe to dodge across. Which is not easy if you’ve just arrived from a right-hand drive country.

I saw a little old lady jaywalk in Mitte the other day. Ten yards from a crossing, she was. I thought, “That’s Berlin!”